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Hell on high heels.

kawaiigod:

girl: he cheated on me

me: then break up with him

girl: but-

me: bye

There are good atheists and bad atheists. There are good believers and bad believers. A cunt is a cunt and no god has ever changed that.
Ricky Gervais (via halloweenghoul)

mashable:

Lena the Rottweiler totally understands your love of a nice, relaxing shower after a long day.

15-year-old me: MOM I'm practically an ADULT ugggh you never let me do ANYTHING in olden times i could get MARRIED *eye roll into another dimension*
me now: for my birthday i want food and to stay on your health insurance
garagegyms:

Wowsers

garagegyms:

Wowsers

piranhabat:

jakemalik:

*drops food on floor*

germs: go get it! quick!

king germ: no.. we must wait 5 seconds.. it is the rule

my favorite thing about this post is that germs have apparently gained enough sentience to develop a form of monarchy

touchedbyanangela:

sorry kids you’re either going to have to get a job or go to uni
oh but uni’s probably going to cost you more so you’ll need to do both
also we don’t have enough jobs for you

sex-bom-omb:

I BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES.
I HEAR ITS GREAT FOR MY SKIN.

sex-bom-omb:

I BATHE IN THE BLOOD OF MY ENEMIES.

I HEAR ITS GREAT FOR MY SKIN.

alt-j:

this cat looks like ron swanson

alt-j:

this cat looks like ron swanson